Common Concerns

Adjustment to TAMS

Finding Your Footing in a New Environment

Moving to TAMS is an exciting opportunity, but it also means leaving much of what feels familiar. At home, you probably knew your surroundings, had your favorite meals, followed familiar routines, and spent time with friends you may have known for years.

At TAMS, almost everything can feel different. You're living in McConnell Hall instead of your own bedroom, eating different food, sharing spaces with others, and building friendships with people you've only recently met. Even simple things, like finding a quiet place to relax or deciding what to eat, may take some getting used to.

Academically, the transition from high school to college-level classes can be challenging, too. UNT professors may teach differently than your high school teachers. Exams may cover more material; assignments may require greater independence, and you might have fewer grades determining your final course grade. The study habits that worked for you in high school might not work the same way here.

With so many changes happening at once, it's natural to feel excited, overwhelmed, homesick, or uncertain. You might even miss things you never thought much about before coming to TAMS.

Things to try:

• Create a sense of familiarity. Decorate your room with pictures, bring comforting items from home, or develop small routines that make your new space feel like yours.
• Give friendships time to grow. You may have known your friends back home for years. Building that same level of comfort and trust with new people takes time. Start with small conversations, shared activities, and getting to know others.
• Find your academic rhythm. Experiment new study strategies, attend office hours, and connect with classmates. Needing to change how you study doesn't mean you're less capable.
• Make room for familiar comforts. Enjoy your favorite snacks, listen to music from home, or schedule calls with family and old friends.
• Explore your new environment. Find a favorite study spot on the UNT campus, discover activities you enjoy, or create new traditions with friends.
• Be patient with yourself. You don't have to feel completely settled right away. Some parts of TAMS may feel more comfortable sooner than others.

Ask Yourself

What do I miss most about home, and how can I bring some of that comfort into my life at TAMS?

Remember: Adjusting doesn't mean you have to stop missing home or immediately love everything about your new environment. You can miss your old life while also enjoying your new one. Over time, unfamiliar places can become comfortable, new friendships can deepen, and you can discover routines that make TAMS feel more like home.

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Missing home

It's Okay to Miss What Feels Familiar

Moving away from home to attend TAMS is a big step toward independence. While you may be excited about new opportunities, you might also find yourself missing the people, places, and routines that once made you feel comfortable.

Maybe you miss having dinner with your family, eating your favorite home-cooked meals, spending time with siblings or pets, or simply relaxing in your own bedroom. You might miss friends you've known for years, family traditions, or having someone around who understands you without needing an explanation.

Sometimes, homesickness shows up in unexpected ways. You might feel lonely even when surrounded by people, become irritated by small things, or feel sad after calling home. You might especially miss home during stressful weeks, after a difficult exam, when you're sick, or when you see your family celebrating something without you.

Missing home doesn't mean you're not ready to be independent. It means you've built meaningful connections and memories with people and places that matter to you.

At TAMS, you're learning how to create a sense of belonging in a new environment while staying connected to the life you've known. Both can exist together.

Things to try:

• Bring a little home with you. Decorate your room with family pictures, keep a favorite blanket nearby, or enjoy snacks and music that remind you of home.
• Stay connected to loved ones. Schedule calls with family or old friends. Share everyday moments with them, not just the exciting or difficult ones.
• Create new traditions. Maybe it's getting breakfast with your roommate on Fridays, having a movie night with friends, or finding your favorite spot on the UNT campus. Familiar routines can help a new place feel more comfortable.
• Give new friendships time. Your friends from home may have known you for years. It's okay if your friendships at TAMS don't feel that close yet. Meaningful connections develop through shared experiences and time.
• Allow yourself to have mixed feelings. You can enjoy being at TAMS and still wish you were home. You don't have to choose between the two.
• Find comfort in your new environment. Explore places on campus where you feel relaxed, spend time with people you enjoy, and create routines that give you a sense of stability.
• Talk about how you're feeling. Sometimes sharing that you miss home with a roommate, friend, RA, or counselor can help you feel less alone. You might discover that others are experiencing something similar.

Ask Yourself

What do I miss most about home? Is it a person, a place, a routine, or the way I felt when I was there?

What is one small thing I can do to create that same sense of comfort or connection at TAMS?

Remember: Home isn't something you have to leave behind to grow. As you become more independent, you can carry the relationships, memories, and traditions that matter to you while creating new ones. Over time, you may discover that it's possible to feel at home in more than one place.

And if homesickness starts affecting your sleep, academics, relationships, or everyday activities, the TAMS Counseling team is here to listen and help you navigate those feelings.

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Relationships

Friendships, Breakups, and Finding Your People

Relationships are an important part of life at TAMS. Whether you're making new friends, exploring romantic relationships, navigating disagreements, or dealing with a breakup, relationships can bring both joy and challenges.

Sometimes friendships change, people grow apart, or relationships end. You might feel hurt, angry, confused, lonely, or even relieved. Whatever you're feeling is valid. Losing a relationship can be difficult, especially when you still see that person in class, around campus, or in your friend's group.

Things to try:

• Give yourself space to feel. You don't have to pretend you're okay or rush to move on.
• Communicate openly. If a friendship feels strained, consider having an honest conversation when you're both ready.
• Respect boundaries—yours and theirs. It's okay to need space, and it's important to respect when others need it too.
• Lean on your support system. Spend time with people who make you feel heard, respected, and supported.
• Remember that relationships change. Not every friendship or romantic relationship will last forever, and that doesn't make it any less meaningful.
• Be kind to yourself. A breakup or falling-out doesn't determine your worth or your ability to build meaningful connections.

Ask Yourself

What do I need from my relationships to feel respected, valued, and comfortable being myself?

Remember: Healthy relationships aren't about never having disagreements. They're about mutual respect, communication, and feeling safe enough to be yourself. And sometimes, taking care of yourself means knowing when to let go.

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Personal identity and growth

Who Am I Becoming?

Moving away from home and starting life at TAMS is more than just an academic transition. It's also an opportunity to discover who you are becoming.

For many of you, this might be the first time you're living away from family, making everyday decisions independently, managing responsibilities, and navigating new relationships. With this newfound independence comes the freedom to explore your interests, discover your values, and learn what matters most to you.

Along the way, you may experience challenges, make mistakes, question your choices, or discover that things don't always go as planned. These experiences can be uncomfortable, but they can also help you grow, become more confident in your decisions, and develop a deeper understanding of yourself.

Things to try:

• Get curious about yourself. Notice what you enjoy, what challenges you, and what makes you feel fulfilled.
• Embrace your independence. Give yourself opportunities to make decisions, even small ones, and learn from the outcomes.
• Allow yourself to change. Your interests, beliefs, and priorities may evolve as you encounter new experiences and perspectives.
• See challenges as opportunities for growth. Mistakes and setbacks can teach you about your strengths, needs, and resilience.
• Stay connected to what matters to you. Growing into your independence doesn't mean leaving behind your family, culture, or values. It means discovering how they fit into the person you're becoming.

Ask Yourself

What have I discovered about myself since coming to TAMS that I didn't know before?

Remember: You don't have to have your identity or future figured out. Growing up isn't about becoming a completely different person. It's about discovering new parts of yourself, learning from your experiences, and gradually becoming more comfortable with who you are.

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Deciding on college major/career

You’re Still Becoming You

At TAMS, it can feel like everyone is already planning what comes next: What college will you attend? What will you major in? Are you going to medical school? Engineering? Research? What career do you want?

Those are big questions to answer when you’re still discovering who you are.

The person you are today may not be exactly the same person you are at 18, 21, or 25. Over the next several years, you’ll have new experiences, meet new people, take different classes, and learn more about yourself. As you grow, your interests, values, priorities, and needs may change too.

Maybe you’ve always imagined becoming a doctor but discover that what you really love is research. Maybe you come to TAMS loving computer science and unexpectedly become fascinated by psychology. Or maybe you know what you enjoy but have absolutely no idea what career could come from it. That’s okay.

Choosing a direction doesn’t mean you’re choosing your entire life.

Things to try:

• Start with curiosity instead of certainty. Ask yourself, “What would I like to learn more about?” rather than “What am I going to do for the rest of my life?”
• Pay attention to who you're becoming. Notice which classes, experiences, conversations, and activities make you feel interested, energized, or meaningful.
• Explore beyond what you already know. Take an interesting UNT class, attend an event, join a club, talk with a professor, volunteer, or learn about a career you've never considered.
• Think about your values too. A career isn't only about what subject you enjoy. You might also care about creativity, helping others, financial stability, independence, family, leadership, flexibility, or work-life balance.
• Give yourself permission to change. Changing your major or career goal doesn't mean your previous choice was wrong. You learned something new about yourself.
• Separate your voice from everyone else's. Family, teachers, friends, and culture may influence how you think about success. Their perspectives can matter while still leaving room for you to discover what you want.
• Make the next decision—not every decision. You don't need a complete 10-year plan. Sometimes you only need to decide what you want to explore next.

Ask Yourself

What am I learning about myself right now that might influence what I want in the future?

If I knew I was allowed to change my mind later, what would I be curious to explore now?

Remember: You are making decisions about your future while you are still becoming yourself. Your interests may change. Your priorities may change. You may change. That's not a problem with the plan—it's part of growing up.

Your goal right now doesn't have to be finding the perfect career. It can simply be learning more about yourself and giving yourself enough experiences to discover what might fit the person you're becoming.

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Feeling like an imposter

Do I Really Belong Here?

Before coming to TAMS, you may have been one of the strongest students in your school. You might have been used to getting the highest grades, understanding things quickly, or being the person classmates came to for help.

Then you arrived at TAMS—and so did many other students who were at the top of their classes.

Suddenly, you're surrounded by people who are talented, curious, motivated, and accomplished. It can be easy to look around and think, “Everyone here is smarter than me,” “Maybe I'm not as capable as I thought,” or “What if they realize I don't belong here?”

But something important has changed: your comparison group.

You didn't suddenly become less capable. You're now comparing yourself with a community made up of students who were also among the strongest students in their schools.

At TAMS, you may not always be at the top. You might get a grade you've never received before, struggle in a UNT class, need tutoring, or watch someone understand something faster than you. That can feel uncomfortable when academic success has always been an important part of how you see yourself.

Being challenged doesn't mean you don't belong. It may simply mean you're in an environment where you have room to learn and grow.

Things to try:

• Notice who you're comparing yourself to. When you think, “Everyone here is better than me,” remember that you're surrounded by other high-achieving students. The comparison group changed—not your worth or ability.
• Let yourself be a learner. You don't have to understand everything immediately. Asking questions, needing help, and making mistakes are normal parts of learning.
• Notice unfair comparisons. You may be comparing your hardest moments to someone else's best moments. You don't always see the studying, uncertainty, mistakes, or stress behind another person's success.
• Remember that strengths look different. Someone may be amazing at calculus while you thrive in research, writing, leadership, creativity, relationships, or something completely different.
• Expand how you see yourself. You are more than your GPA or the person who gets good grades. TAMS can be a place to discover who you are as a friend, roommate, leader, teammate, artist, researcher, and person.
• Talk about how you're feeling. You might be surprised to learn that students you admire sometimes wonder whether they belong too.

Ask Yourself

If I stopped comparing myself to everyone around me for a moment, what strengths would I notice in myself?

Who am I when I don't have to be the best person in the room?

Remember: You don't have to prove every day that you deserve to be at TAMS. Being surrounded by talented people doesn't make you less talented. It gives you the opportunity to learn alongside people who can challenge and inspire you.

You don't have to be the best to belong.

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Procrastination

Why Can't I Just Start?

You know the assignment is due. You know you should probably start studying. You might even be sitting at your desk with everything ready—and somehow you're still not starting.

Procrastination can be frustrating, especially when you know what you need to do. But procrastination isn't always about being lazy or unmotivated. Sometimes avoiding a task is your brain's way of avoiding an uncomfortable feeling connected to the task.

Maybe the assignment feels overwhelming and you don't know where to begin. Maybe you're worried you won't do it well enough. Maybe the task feels boring, difficult, or so important that starting creates anxiety. Sometimes, when you're already mentally exhausted, even a small assignment can feel like one more thing you don't have energy for.

And sometimes, there is simply something much more interesting available—especially your phone.

Checking one notification can turn into responding to messages, watching a few videos, or scrolling through social media. Before you realize it, the time you planned to spend studying has disappeared. Then the pressure increases because you have less time, making the assignment feel even more stressful.

Instead of immediately criticizing yourself for procrastinating, try becoming curious about why you're avoiding the task.

Things to try:

• Ask what's getting in the way. Is the task confusing? Boring? Overwhelming? Are you tired, anxious, distracted, or afraid you won't do it perfectly?
• Make the first step very small. Instead of “I need to write my paper,” start with “I'm going to open the document and write one sentence.”
• Try 10 minutes. Tell yourself you only have to work for 10 minutes. Starting is often harder than continuing.
• Make distractions harder to reach. Put your phone across the room, turn off notifications, or use a focus setting while you're studying.
• Watch for perfectionism. Waiting until you feel completely prepared or have the perfect idea can keep you from beginning. A rough first attempt is allowed to be rough.
• Work with your energy. If possible, tackle harder tasks during times when you tend to have more focus and save simpler tasks for when you're tired.
• Give yourself some compassion. Spending 20 minutes criticizing yourself for procrastinating usually doesn't help you start. Notice what happened, reset, and choose your next small step.

Ask Yourself

What am I actually avoiding—the assignment itself or the feeling I have when I think about doing it?

What is the smallest thing I could do right now to get started?

Remember: Procrastination doesn't mean you don't care. Sometimes you may actually procrastinate because you care so much about doing something well. Understanding what is underneath your procrastination can help you find strategies that actually work for you.

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Social Media & Your Time

Where Did the Last Hour Go?

You pick up your phone to answer one text.

Then you check Instagram. Someone sends you a video. You watch another one. And another one.

Suddenly, 45 minutes passed.

Social media is designed to keep your attention. There is always something new to see—another post, message, notification, video, or recommendation. That can make it very easy to spend longer online than you intended.

The problem isn't necessarily using social media. It can help you stay connected with friends, laugh, relax, and keep up with people back home. The question is whether you're choosing how to spend your time—or if your phone is choosing it for you.

At TAMS, your free time can already feel limited. Classes, studying, activities, friendships, meals, and sleep all compete for the same hours. Ten minutes of scrolling here and twenty minutes there may not seem like much, but those small moments can add up.

Social media can quietly rob time from things you actually value—sleep, studying, hobbies, conversations with friends, or simply having time to do nothing.

It can also make breaks less restorative. You may reach for your phone because you need a break, but after 30 minutes of scrolling, you might not actually feel rested.

Things to try:

• Check your screen time. Don't judge the number. Just notice it. Ask yourself whether that's how you want to spend that amount of your day.
• Decide before you open an app. Ask yourself, “What am I picking up my phone to do?” When you've done it, put the phone back down.
• Create phone-free study periods. Put your phone somewhere you can't automatically reach for it.
• Turn off unnecessary notifications. You don't need to know immediately every time something happens online.
• Protect your sleep. If scrolling keeps pushing your bedtime later, try charging your phone away from your bed.
• Choose your breaks intentionally. Sometimes what you actually need is food, movement, music, a conversation, fresh air, or simply a few quiet minutes.
• Notice what you're giving up. Instead of only asking, “How much time am I spending online?” ask, “What would I like to have more time for?”

Try This

Look at your average daily screen time.

If you spend 3 hours a day on your phone, that's 21 hours each week.

You don't have to eliminate those 21 hours. Imagine simply taking a few of them back.

What could you do with that time?

Ask Yourself

When I reach for my phone, what am I usually looking for—connection, entertainment, distraction, comfort, or just something to do?

What would I like to have more time for in my life?

Remember: The goal isn't to never use social media. Your phone can be fun, useful, and an important way to stay connected. The goal is to make sure your time still belongs to you.

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Worry about a test

When a Test Starts to Feel Like More Than a Test

At TAMS, a test may not always feel like just a test.

Maybe doing well academically has always been important to you. Maybe you're used to being a strong student. You may have expectations for yourself, hopes for your future, or people in your life who are invested in your success.

So when you find yourself worrying about an exam, it makes sense that there may be more underneath that worry.

“What if I don't do as well as I usually do?”
“What if everyone else does better than me?”
“What if I disappoint myself or someone else?”
“What will this mean for my grade—or my future?”

Sometimes worry is simply showing us how much something matters to us.

The challenge is that when worry becomes overwhelming, it can begin to interfere with the very thing you're trying so hard to protect—your ability to do your best.

When Worry Creates Its Own Cycle

You might be so worried about forgetting the material that you keep studying late into the night.

You might read the same page several times because your mind keeps drifting back to the test.

You might lie in bed thinking, “I should be studying right now.”

Then you don't sleep as well.

Sleep plays an important role in learning and memory. Your brain needs time to process and strengthen what you've learned. When you're exhausted and anxious, concentrating and recalling information can become more difficult.

And then something frustrating can happen:

You were afraid you wouldn't perform well → the worry affected your concentration and sleep → being exhausted made it harder to remember what you knew → the test felt harder → and your mind says, “See? I knew this would happen.”

This is sometimes called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It doesn't mean you caused a disappointing grade or that you should simply stop worrying. Your feelings aren't the problem.

Instead, it can be helpful to recognize when your worry has stopped helping you prepare and has started asking something from you.

Maybe what you need in that moment isn't another hour of studying.

Maybe you need rest.
Maybe you need reassurance.
Maybe you need to talk to someone.
Maybe you need a break.
Maybe you need to remind yourself that you've prepared enough for tonight.

Things to try:

• Listen to what your worry is telling you. Instead of fighting it, ask, “What am I actually afraid will happen?”
• Notice when studying stops being helpful. More time doesn't always mean more learning, especially when you're exhausted.
• Give yourself permission to rest. Sleep isn't time taken away from studying. It's part of helping your brain learn and remember.
• Find what helps you feel grounded. That might be music, movement, breathing, talking with a friend, taking a shower, or stepping outside for a few minutes.
• Ask for support when you need it. A professor, classmate, tutor, RA, or counselor can be part of your support system.
• Be gentle with yourself after the test. Whether you feel great about it or disappointed, one performance doesn't tell the whole story of who you are or what you're capable of.

Ask Yourself

What am I really worried this test will mean about me?

What do I need right now to feel supported enough to do my best?

Remember: Caring about your performance is understandable. But you don't have to exhaust yourself to prove that you care.

Sometimes trusting yourself means recognizing that you've prepared, allowing yourself to rest, and walking into the test knowing:

“I may not know everything, but I can work with what I know today.”

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Worry about future

What If I Don't Know What's Next?

College admissions, majors, careers, family expectations, and life after TAMS can bring up a lot of questions.

You might feel pressure to make the perfect decision or worry that one mistake could change everything.

The future is uncertain, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. You don't have to know every step of your journey to begin moving forward.

Things to try:

• Focus on decisions you can make today.
• Explore possibilities without demanding immediate answers.
• Talk about your worries with someone you trust.
• Remember that your goals and interests can evolve.

Ask Yourself

If I didn't need to have everything figured out, what would my next small step be?

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Respecting your needs and limits

It's Okay to Have Limits

At TAMS, there is always something happening. Between UNT classes, research, clubs, college applications, friendships, and residential life, it can sometimes feel like there is never enough time for everything.

You might find yourself saying yes to another commitment even when you're already overwhelmed. Maybe you stay up late helping a friend with an assignment when you're exhausted. Maybe you feel guilty taking a break because everyone around you seems to be studying. Or perhaps you agree to spend time with friends when what you really want is a quiet evening in your room.

Sometimes, it's difficult to recognize what you need when you're so focused on what is expected of you.

But having needs and limits doesn't mean you're weak, selfish, or less capable. It means you're human.

Learning to Listen to Yourself

For many students, TAMS is one of the first opportunities to make everyday decisions independently. Without family members around to remind you to eat, sleep, take breaks, or slow down, you're learning how to recognize and respond to your own needs.

This independence can be exciting, but it also comes with a new responsibility: learning to take care of yourself.

You might notice that you need more sleep than your roommate, more time alone than your friends, or more breaks while studying than someone else. That's okay.

Your needs don't have to look like someone else's to be important.

Sometimes your body and emotions communicate your limits before you consciously recognize them. You might feel constantly tired, become irritated by small things, struggle to concentrate, or stop enjoying activities you usually love.

Rather than pushing through every uncomfortable feeling, consider what it might be telling you.

Maybe you're overwhelmed.
Maybe you need some quiet time.
Maybe you've taken on too many responsibilities.
Maybe you need connection or support.
Maybe you simply need to rest.

Learning to recognize these signals is part of understanding yourself.

Setting Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

Respecting your limits sometimes means making choices that others may not expect.

You might need to tell a friend you can't help them study tonight. You might decide not to join another club, even though it looks great on a college application. Or you might choose to spend a Saturday afternoon relaxing instead of doing something productive.

Saying no can feel uncomfortable, especially when you're used to meeting expectations and being dependable.

But setting boundaries isn't about caring less about other people. It's about recognizing that your time, energy, and emotional well-being matter too.

You can care about your friends and still need time alone.
You can be ambitious and still need rest.
You can enjoy being involved and still choose to do less.
You can support others without being available all the time.

Things to try:

• Check in with yourself. Throughout the day, pause and ask, "How am I feeling? What do I need right now?" Sometimes the answer is as simple as food, sleep, movement, or a break.
• Notice your limits. Pay attention to when you start feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or disconnected from things you enjoy. These feelings may be signals that something needs your attention.
• Give yourself permission to say no. You don't have to accept every invitation, opportunity, or responsibility. Try saying, "I'd love to, but I don't have the time right now."
• Make space for your own needs. Whether it's spending time alone, calling family, enjoying a hobby, or taking a nap, allow yourself to do things that help you feel supported.
• Remember that everyone's capacity is different. Just because your friend can manage five clubs, research, and classes doesn't mean you need to do the same.
• Practice asking for help. Independence doesn't mean doing everything alone. Reaching out to friends, RAs, professors, or counselors is another way of respecting your needs.
• Be flexible with yourself. Your needs may change from day to day. Some days you may have the energy to do a lot, while other days you may need to slow down. Both are okay.

Ask Yourself

When was the last time I said yes to something even though I really wanted to say no? What made it difficult?

What might change if I gave my own needs the same importance I give to other people's expectations?

Remember: At TAMS, you're learning more than how to succeed in college-level classes. You're also learning how to live independently, make choices, build relationships, and understand yourself.

Part of that growth is discovering what you need to feel healthy, connected, and fulfilled.

You don't have to push yourself to your limits to prove what you're capable of. Sometimes, respecting your limits is how you take care of the person you're becoming.

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Resting better

When Your Body Is Tired, but Your Mind Won't Slow Down

After a long day at TAMS, you might finally get into bed, ready to sleep, only to realize that your mind is still busy.

“Did I finish that assignment?”
“I need to email my professor tomorrow.”
“What should I study for the exam?”
“I forgot to respond to that message.”
“What if I don't have enough time to finish everything?”

Even though your body is tired, your mind is still going through tomorrow's to-do list, replaying conversations, or thinking about everything you need to accomplish.

When you're balancing UNT classes, research, friendships, and other responsibilities, it can feel like your brain never really gets a break.

But resting isn't just about stopping what you're doing. Sometimes it's about learning how to let your mind slow down, too.

Why Is It So Hard to Switch Off?

Throughout the day, your brain is constantly planning, remembering, solving problems, and making decisions.

When you finally have a quiet moment, especially at bedtime, all the thoughts you didn't have time to process during the day may suddenly demand your attention.

You might feel like you need to mentally organize tomorrow before you can relax. Or you may worry that if you stop thinking about something, you'll forget to do it.

The problem is that your mind can stay in planning mode even when your body is ready for sleep.

Sleep is especially important when you're learning and processing large amounts of information. It supports memory, concentration, emotional well-being, and your ability to manage stress.

Giving yourself permission to rest isn't taking time away from your success. It's part of taking care of yourself.

Mindfulness: Helping Your Mind Find Rest

Mindfulness is the practice of gently bringing your attention to the present moment.

It doesn't mean emptying your mind, forcing yourself to relax, or making every thought disappear.

Instead, mindfulness helps you notice your thoughts without feeling like you have to respond to every single one.

Imagine your mind reminding you about an upcoming calculus exam while you're trying to fall asleep.

Rather than immediately planning another study session, you might simply notice:

“I'm thinking about my exam again. That's something important to me, but I don't need to solve it right now.”

Then gently bring your attention back to your breathing, the feeling of your pillow, or the comfort of your blanket.

Your thoughts may return, and that's okay. Each time you notice them, you have another opportunity to return to the present.

The goal isn't to stop thinking. It's to recognize that not every thought needs your attention right now.

Try This: Put Your To-Do List to Bed

Sometimes your mind keeps returning to unfinished tasks because you're worried you'll forget them.

Before bedtime, try giving those thoughts somewhere else to go.

• Write it down. Spend five minutes writing everything that's on your mind—assignments, reminders, worries, or things you need to do tomorrow.
• Choose what can wait. Look at your list and remind yourself that you don't need to complete everything tonight.
• Make a small plan. If something needs attention tomorrow, write down when you'll return to it.
• Close the list. Put it away and remind yourself, “I've made space for these things tomorrow. I don't need to carry them all in my mind tonight.”

You aren't ignoring your responsibilities. You're allowing yourself to step away from them for a while.

Try This: A Mindful Moment Before Sleep

When you're lying in bed, try spending a few minutes noticing your body and surroundings.

• Get comfortable. Find a position that feels restful. You can close your eyes or simply soften your gaze.
• Notice your breathing. Pay attention to the natural rhythm of your breath. You don't need to change it.
• Relax your body. Slowly bring your attention to your feet, legs, stomach, shoulders, and face. Notice where you're holding tension and allow those areas to soften if they can.
• Let thoughts come and go. If your mind returns to homework, exams, or tomorrow's schedule, gently acknowledge the thought without following it.
• Return to the present. Notice the feeling of your blanket, the support of your mattress, or the sounds around you.

You don't have to do this perfectly. If your mind wanders twenty times, that's okay. Noticing and gently returning your attention is part of mindfulness.

And if focusing on your breathing doesn't feel comfortable, you can focus on a sound, a comforting image, or the feeling of your body resting instead.

Things to Try

• Create a transition between studying and sleeping. Give yourself some time to shift out of academic mode. Listen to calming music, stretch, read something enjoyable, or take a warm shower.
• Keep your to-do list outside your head. Write down reminders instead of mentally rehearsing everything you need to accomplish.
• Practice mindfulness throughout the day. Take a few moments between classes or before studying to notice how you're feeling. You don't have to wait until bedtime.
• Give yourself permission to stop. There will almost always be another assignment, email, or task. Rest doesn't have to wait until everything is finished.
• Find what relaxation means for you. Some people enjoy guided meditations, while others prefer music, gentle movement, journaling, or quiet time.
• Protect your sleep routine. Try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule and reduce stimulating activities or scrolling close to bedtime.
• Be patient with yourself. Some nights your mind may settle quickly, while other nights it may take longer. Relaxation isn't another thing you need to accomplish perfectly.

Ask Yourself

When I lie down to sleep, what thoughts or responsibilities are hardest for me to let go of?

What might help me feel comfortable setting those thoughts aside until tomorrow?

Remember: At TAMS, there may always be something else you could be doing. Another chapter to read, another assignment to finish, or another opportunity to prepare for.

But you are more than your responsibilities.

You deserve moments when you aren't planning, achieving, solving, or preparing for what's next.

Rest is not another task to complete. It's an opportunity to simply be.

And sometimes, the most helpful thing you can tell yourself at the end of a busy day is:

“I've done what I can for today. The rest can wait until tomorrow.”

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Calming down

When Everything Feels Like Too Much

Some days at TAMS, everything seems to happen at once. Maybe you have an upcoming exam, an unfinished assignment, a disagreement with a friend, or simply too many things on your mind.

You might notice your thoughts racing, your heart beating faster, your shoulders tightening, or yourself becoming frustrated over little things.

These are natural responses to stress. Your body and emotions may be telling you that you need a moment to slow down.

Calming down doesn't mean ignoring your feelings or forcing yourself to be happy. It's about creating enough space to understand what you're experiencing and what you might need.

Pause, Notice, and Breathe

When you're overwhelmed, your mind may focus on everything that went wrong or everything that could go wrong.

Mindfulness can help you return to the present moment. You don't have to stop thinking or make your emotions disappear. Simply notice what's happening without judging yourself.

Try asking:

• What am I feeling right now?
• Where do I notice this feeling in my body?
• What might help me feel supported in this moment?

Things to Try

• Take a mindful pause. Notice your breathing, relax your shoulders, and allow yourself a moment without needing to accomplish anything.
• Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise. Notice five things you see, four you feel, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste.
• Move your body. Take a short walk around campus, stretch, or listen to music while moving.
• Find a comforting space. Spend a few minutes somewhere quiet, step outside, or sit somewhere you feel comfortable.
• Connect with someone. Talk to a friend, RA, or counselor. Sometimes being heard is more helpful than finding an immediate solution.
• Give yourself permission to pause. You don't have to solve every problem, respond to every message, or make every decision immediately.

Ask Yourself

What is my body telling me when I feel overwhelmed?

What helps me feel grounded, safe, and connected to myself?

Remember: You don't have to feel calm all the time. Stress, frustration, and anxiety are natural parts of being human.

Your emotions don't need to be pushed away. Sometimes they simply need to be noticed, understood, and given space.

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Finding my self-care

What Helps Me Feel Like Myself?

At TAMS, your days can quickly fill up with classes, studying, research, friendships, and activities. With so much happening, it's easy to focus on everything you need to do and forget to ask yourself what you need.

Self-care isn't just about face masks, bubble baths, or taking breaks. It's about understanding yourself and recognizing what helps you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally supported.

For some people, self-care means spending time with friends. For others, it might be listening to music, calling family, exercising, creating art, or simply enjoying some quiet time.

And what you need may change from day to day. Sometimes you need connection, while other times you need space. Sometimes you need rest, and sometimes you need something fun to look forward to.

Self-care isn't one more thing you need to be good at. It's about discovering what works for you.

Discovering What You Need

As you become more independent at TAMS, you're also learning how to recognize and respond to your own needs.

Instead of asking, "What should I be doing?" try asking:

• What has been taking up most of my energy lately?
• What helps me feel refreshed or connected to myself?
• Am I doing things I enjoy, or only things I need to accomplish?

Things to Try

• Care for your body. Notice when you need sleep, nourishing food, movement, or a break from your desk.
• Make room for enjoyment. Read for fun, play a game, explore Denton, or spend time on a hobby without worrying about being productive.
• Stay connected. Spend time with friends, call someone from home, or reach out when you need support.
• Give yourself quiet time. You don't always have to be studying, socializing, or doing something. It's okay to simply be.
• Express yourself. Try journaling, music, art, dancing, or anything that helps you explore your feelings.
• Notice what actually helps. Scrolling through your phone might feel like a break, but does it leave you feeling rested? Get curious about what genuinely restores your energy.

Ask Yourself

What activities make me feel most like myself?

If I had one hour with no responsibilities or expectations, how would I want to spend it?

Remember: Self-care doesn't have to be expensive, complicated, or time-consuming. Sometimes it's as simple as eating when you're hungry, saying no when you're overwhelmed, or spending a few minutes doing something you love.

Taking care of yourself isn't something you have to earn after being productive. You deserve care simply because you're you.

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Finding balance

Making Room for More Than Your To-Do List

At TAMS, there is always something you could be doing. Studying for another exam, working on research, joining a club, preparing college applications, or spending time with friends.

When you're surrounded by motivated and accomplished students, it can feel like you should always be doing more. You might even feel guilty taking a break when your roommate is studying or your friends are working on their next big project.

But being busy doesn't always mean you're feeling fulfilled.

Your time at TAMS is about more than academic achievements. It's also about building friendships, exploring your interests, becoming independent, and discovering what makes life meaningful to you.

What Does Balance Look Like for You?

Balance doesn't mean spending equal amounts of time on everything. Some weeks, academics may need more attention. Other weeks, you might need more rest, connection, or time for yourself.

The important part is recognizing when one area of your life is taking up so much space that you're losing touch with other things that matter to you.

Maybe you've been studying so much that you haven't spent time with friends. Maybe you're involved in so many activities that you're constantly exhausted. Or maybe you're saying yes to opportunities because everyone else is doing them, rather than because they genuinely interest you.

Finding balance is about making intentional choices that reflect your own needs, priorities, and values.

Things to Try

• Identify what matters to you. Think about what you want to make room for beyond academics—friendships, family, hobbies, rest, or personal interests.
• Notice your commitments. Are your activities meaningful to you, or do you feel pressured to do them because they look good on college applications?
• Make time for enjoyment. Schedule something you look forward to, whether it's a movie night at McConnell Hall, exploring Denton, or simply relaxing with friends.
• Listen to your needs. Some days you may need to study, while other days you may need rest or connection. Give yourself permission to adjust.
• Practice saying no. You don't have to join every club, attend every event, or accept every opportunity.
• Let go of constant productivity. You don't need to turn every free moment into an opportunity to accomplish something.

Ask Yourself

Am I spending my time on things that genuinely matter to me, or things I feel I'm supposed to do?

What part of my life could use a little more attention right now?

Remember: Finding balance isn't about creating the perfect schedule or managing every minute of your day. It's about learning what helps you feel healthy, connected, and fulfilled.

You are more than your accomplishments. Your friendships, interests, experiences, and moments of joy are just as much a part of the person you're becoming.